Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Adventures with Edward: Edward plays charades

Setting: Desk of the human

Edward, bored out of his plastic mind, crawls out of my handbag. He tells me he wants to play a game. I suggest charades with movie titles. Edward rubs his hands in excitement and quickly adjusts his scarf. He begins the first clue.

“Um”, I say. “Umm…Wait! Is it Saving Private Ryan?”

Edward says yes. He is surprised I got it so quickly. He thinks of another clue.

“Wow, a toughie.” I scratch my head. “Ooh! Is it So I Married An Axe Murderer?”

Edward nods yes. He is impressed with my skillz.

He stops a moment, thinking of a really hard one.

Hmmm…I’m going to guess Three Weddings and a Funeral.”

Edward huffs in impatience. He turns over and poses again.

“Ooh ooh! Um, is it Finding Nemo?”

“Dang!” Edward says. He grabs a prop for the next one.

“Duh,” I say. “Ghost.” I roll my eyes.

Edward removes his prop. He thinks hard. He takes his scarf off and poses again.

“Wow. This one is hard. Is it The Fifth Element?”

Edward shakes his head no.

“Hmm, then how about Interview with a Vampire?”

Edward says no again.

“Geez. Ok how about Wolverine?”

Edward just chuckles. I take that as a no.

“Dang. I give up. What’s the answer?”

Twilight,” says Edward. He winds his scarf around his neck and struts back to my bag.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Adventures with Edward: Edward visits Boulder, Colorado

Setting: Boulder, Colorado

Edward hears I am going on a trip to a far off country, full of snow and mountains. He begs to go. He must try to get his mind off of Bella Doll. Plus he has a scarf. So he is ready. I tell him to hop in my bag and get comfortable. He wiggles in next to my knitting and mittens.

We board the plane. He climbs out of my bag and finds his seat. He scoffs at the seat belt. The Sky Mall magazine holds his interest for 13.9 seconds. Then he is bored.

The flights are short. Edward watches Ladyhawke on my iPhone. He thinks the ’80’s music is cheesy, but otherwise enjoys it. Edward also thinks that Matthew Broderick’s English accent is lacking.

Once the plane is landed, Edward enjoys the sites. He conquers some strange metallic beast.

It was hard to eat, but Edward decides this is exotic food.

Edward decides to stop and smell the flowers.

They smell of plastic Bella Doll’s perfume. Or what he imagines Bella Doll’s perfume smells like. He has only really smelled her packaging.

The mountains and pines beckon to Edward. He climbs a tree. It is reminiscent of this movie he saw once with a human Bella. He remembers the scene well.

He wonders if he can ever persuade Bella Doll out of her box. Alas. For now, he just imagines her presence.

Heartsick, Edward wanders to a snowy patch and whips up a snowman. He must be careful. His powerful vampire hands tend to crush, not mold. He shares his scarf.

It has been a good trip. Edward is glad he has visited Boulder.

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